Hit The Road
by QuierdoMusic
Summary: WOW... I could finally post a story... my internet is wired right now.. so probably I won't be able to post// update things... To the story... Sam is sick/ill on a car ride
1. Soft Spot

Hit the road

_**Just a little fic, what could happen on a drive to the next **__**hunt? Sam is ill; Sam is 14 and Dean is 18. **_

_**Dean's Perspective**_

"Are you sure, we have everything, Dean?" Dad asked, watching me.

"Yeah… except of Sammy everything is here." I gave dad a smirk. He seemed dumbfounded; he hadn't realized that his son vanished some minutes ago.

"Where is he?" _Wow_, he was unbelievable, he shouted at me, like I have lost my little brother.

"He is just using the bathroom again." I saw that the concern in dad's eyes became less. "We will be on the road for about ten hours, so we have to take one break less."

"Speaking of the devil" Dad smiled, nudging me, when Sam came up to us. Sam looked pretty annoyed. I could understand him, we just made new friend here and now we have to move again. He hadn't talked much in the last two days.

I didn't mind that we were moving again, we were going to head to New York.

Sam didn't even look at us when he passed us, his eyes puffy and his nose red. Dad looked mad, but I gave him a warning look, so he didn't talked to my little brother.

"_This little brat_" Dad hissed, when Sam shut the door with a loud _'Bang'. _

"Dad" I piped up, realizing that he made his way to Sam's door. He immediately turned around to me. "May I drive?"

"No" Dad chuckled, knowing exactly that I just wanted to get his attention. "It's not your car, _yet_ and you know that I hate driving with you. You are always giving me a heart attack." I smiled at him.

"Fine. I'll sit in the back." I stated, making dad laugh; than I opened Sam's door. "Move over, bro." I ordered, swatting him lightly. I hoped to get him talk to me, when I sat in the back beside him. He just glared up to me and annoyed me with obeying. Usually he would talk back to me or just hit back.

"I'll go and check us out, boys." Dad informed, before I closed the car door. I was thankful that he gave us a little time alone, the next ten hours would be silent enough, I guessed.

"Are you okay, Sammy?" I asked.

"Leave me alone, I don't want to talk with you." He snored, his voice was rough.

"_Wow_" I hissed, facing the window. This would annoy him.

_Three_

_Two_

_One_

"What?" I smiled slightly, when I heard his angry voice. I didn't expect something else. I knew how to make him talk and right now he feared that I would be really angry with him for not snapping at me and _that_ made _him_ want to talk.

"You are a real bitch, Sam. I haven't done something to you. We have to move again, I can't help it and so can't dad, so stop mess around with us, before you regret it." My voice was just casual, letting him know that I meant what I said.

"What?" He laughed, making me face him. "Are you planning to beat me or something?"

"I wouldn't do this _ever_, though I would _love_ to do it right now." I had a stern look at him, when he flinched at my tone. "But you can _wait_ for dad to shout at you again and this time I wouldn't step between you two, I wouldn't be on your side." It was ridiculous how this hit my little brother, he wasn't scared that Dad might _scold_ him, or even _shout_ at him, but it hurt him that I wouldn't help him this time.

"I…" His voice broke into a cough-fit. He was really pale like a ghost, only his eyes and is nose were red and he looked weaker that normal… younger.

"You look like crap." I stated, running a hand through Sammy's hair. "And you're hot."

"That's a big contradiction, Dean." Sam laughed, leaning into my touch and clearing his throat.

"Smart ass." I whispered. "Aren't you feeling well?" I asked, my hand cupping his cheek.

"No…" He began, but I interrupted him.

"Why didn't you tell me that you're feverish?" I moved a little closer to him, laying my cold hand on his neck. It made me worry more, when I realized how much he was leaning into my touch, like always when he was going to be ill.

"What's up with you boys?" Dad asked taken aback, when he saw Sam and me in the back seat.

"Sammy is a little ill, I guess." I stated, not looking at my father, when he started driving.

"Do you need anything, Sam?" The concern in our dad's voice made Sam and me smile a little.

"No, thanks dad. I'm alright." Sam assured. Dad nodded in response, turning on the radio to give us some more privacy in the back.

"What?" Sam asked when I smiled at him.

"I'm kind of happy that you are ill." I confessed, squeezing his neck briefly. "Finally I know, why you refused to talk to us all morning. You weren't this annoyed, you just wanted to hide that you are ill." I knew that Sam hated it to take some drugs, every time he was ill, so he tried his best to hide it.

Sam grumbled something I couldn't understand, his eyes closed, when I took my hand away form his face to take his hand in mine. "You're really ill, kiddo. Try to sleep." His hands were cold. "Can you please turn on the heater, dad?" I asked; and dad did it.

Some minutes later Sam was asleep, his head against the cold window and one of his long legs stretched out to my side, my hand resting on his knee, squeezing it whenever he begun to shiver.

"Hey, Dean, try to sleep." Dad ordered kindly. "You can't help him with watching him sleep and you look like a tired dog."

"Thanks so much, dad." I laughed sarcastically, but closed my eyes, after a last look at Sam.

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I woke up when I heard a loud yelp. The first thing I saw was Sam's face, his eyes wide open in shock; they were filled with pain and staring at my left hand. It took some time till I realized what was going on; dad had already parked at the shoulder of the road, looking at us.

"Oh God, Sammy, I'm sorry, it was reflex. Let me see." I took his hand, which was pressed against his cheek.

"You punched me." He stated with a broken voice, his cheek was bright red, where it connected with my fist.

"Hey, kiddo, it wasn't deliberate." Dad assured him, in his eyes were sorrow.

"I hadn't expect the weight on my shoulder, bro." I apologized again, when I felt for his fever, it had become worse. "How do you feel?"

He shrugged. I cursed myself for hitting him, though I hadn't wanted to do it. It was the first time in two years Sam would have slept on my shoulder.

"Do you want to take a longer break?" Dad asked, feeling for Sam's temperature, too. I nodded, opening the door, seeing that Sam was pale except of his cheek.

I rounded the car, opening the other door for Sam. "Come on, let's walk a little." I gripped his arm, helping him stand.

As soon as he was outside the car, his legs buckled and he vomited everything what he ate today, fortunately it wasn't much.

"Oh boy" I stroked his hair, kneeling behind him. Dad, who joined us, laid one hand on my shoulder and the other on Sam's head.

"How long are you ill?" Dad asked irately.

"Don't know…" Sam whispered, his eyes closed, while I sat him down on the edge of the backseat. I couldn't help but smile, when he rested his head against my hip, when I stood beside him. I slung my arm protective around his shoulder and glared at dad for being so rough. "Two days, maybe"

"Okay" Dad ran a hand over his face. "Do you have to throw up again?" He asked with a soft voice. Sam shook his head, smiling a little. "Good, get in then, I want to drive on."

After all of us sat in the car again, I grinned affectionately when Sam sat more in the middle and leaned against me. "Don't slap me again." He warned with a yawn.

"I promise I won't." I smiled, running two of my fingers over his nose, than to his forehead again, trying to cool him down.

"What?" I asked when I heard my father chuckle, Sam sleeping in my arms.

"You are obviously enjoying this. He wasn't that clingy since he was twelve years old." He laughed, turning around in his seat.

"I don't enjoy this… I… I just try to help him." I lied, still running my hand over the kid's hot face.

"Uh hu… Everybody has a soft spot." He nodded, chuckling. I blushed; he has always been able to make me feel embarrassed.

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_**Complete?**_

_**Well… interesting or not interesting? Continue or not continue? I'm so not sure =D**_

_**Hey… this is the first fic by me, where nobody is crying, I guess… I' m pretty pathetic, guys -.-' :D**_

_**Review!! Please**_


	2. Don't feel so well

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_**Thanks to everybody who read and liked the first chapter.**_

_**The Grey Phantom**_, Glad you enjoyed this… I hope you will read and perhaps like it?! Thanks for the review.

_**Alisseadreams**_, :) Thanks so much for the review. It made me smile what you've said.

_**Normal Perspective**_

One hour later nothing had changed in the car. John was still driving, while Dean tried to cool the boy in his arms down. Only once Sam was awake in this time, when Dean urged him to drink some water.

"Shush, Sammy, everything is alright." Dean soothed his little brother, when he began to shiver violently. John suppressed a grin when he saw Dean brush his nose over Sam's hair, along with his hand.

John knew that Dean didn't want to let his guard down. Since Sammy decided to become Sam, Dean was still there for his brother -like always- but Dean also came up with 'chick-flick-moments' and that they should be banned from the Winchester's life. But though John didn't count he was pretty sure that his older son was the one who brought these moments up most of the time. Dean would definite never hesitate to give his brother the needed reassurance.

"Has he a nightmare?" John asked. Dean winced at this sudden question.

"No… I think this is caused by his fever." Dean stated desperately, Sam's breathing was rattling, because of the coughing. "What can I do? He definite won't take medicine."

"Why not?" John asked facing the street in the dim light.

"Right… you weren't there last time he was ill." Dean really didn't mean to sound harsh, but John couldn't ignore the undertone.

"Sorry" Dean apologized when he realized what he just said.

"It's okay." John smiled sadly, the boy was right, the last time Sam was _really_ ill, he was hunting an angry spirit; so Dean had to patch his brother up again. "What happened when he took the drugs?"

Dean let out a sarcastic chuckle: "Let's say that he responded a little moody to this medicine. When he was healthy again, we both were psychically stressed out. It freaked us both out, he was really… _emotional_. He was thinking even more than usually…" Dean trailed off at this memory.

Dean neither wanted to give Sam the medicine, he couldn't deal with Sam's sadness again… he wouldn't be able to have another chat with him about their mom and their dad and their whole screwed life. It was pretty much the first time Sam had seen Dean cry.

John seemed to read his son's thoughts, so he didn't push, knowing that some things were just between the brothers.

A movement from Sam got Dean back to reality, now the younger boy was shivering hard against his older brother's chest, his head resting under Dean's head.

Dean took his jacket and tucked it around Sam, gently moving his hands over Sam's back and neck. "He is freezing, dad." Dean complained, looking at the back of his father's head, his face set in a 'super-cool' mask.

"Okay" John stated, looking in the mirror before pulling over at the side of the road, stopping the car. "Wake him up." He said and got out of the car.

John smiled fondly, when he took a closer look at his boys. Immediately, when Dean thought that their father didn't see him anymore, he lost his 'I-don't-care'- behaving and spoke to his little brother.

"Sammy, wake up" Dean whispered, gently pushing Sam into a sitting position, caressing his cheek with his thumb, waiting for Sam to open his eyes.

"Hey" Dean breathed, smiling at Sam, who blinked tiredly, trying to fix his eyes at Dean.

"Here, drink." The older teen handed his little brother an open bottle, letting him take small sips, when their father appeared behind Sam.

"Move over, boys" John ordered kindly, settling down on the other side of Sam, so the three Winchsters were sitting in the back, Sam cuddled against Dean, facing his father.

"Open your mouth." John told his youngest, when he failed by shoving a thermometer into Sam's mouth. Though Sam didn't want to obey, he eventually had to, when he couldn't get air into his lungs, not being able to breath through his nose.

"Under your tongue, lil bro" Dean smiled into his brother's hair, crossing his arms tight in front of his brother's chest. He knew the trick; he had used it a millionth times.

Too tired and exhausted to fight, Sam just leaned back against Dean, waiting for the thermometer to beep. "Wow, Sam, 101.1 °F… boy, that's much." John stated.

"Dad" Dean warned, when he saw the rage in John's eyes, but this time John didn't want to be calmed.

"You know, if you had told us that you were going to be ill _two days ago_, we could have prevented this." Sam flinched, trying to concentrate on the strong arms, which were wrapped around him.

"Sorry" Sam whispered, when John tuck a blanket around his boys. His movements were gentle and slow, making Sam feel more comfortable.

"I just have no idea what to do, Sammy." John's voice was soft again, ruffling Sam's hair affectionately. "We are in the middle of nowhere and I don't know whether your fever may get worse."

"Dean" John addressed his older son, who had again an unreadable face. "If he really gets worse, tell me. I will drive on." He knew that the boys have dealt with similar situations all by themselves, so they would achieve it this time, too.

"Okay." Dean yawned, while Sam buried himself fully between the blanket and his brother. "Sammy, do you want to sleep again?" Dean asked, looking down at him.

"Can't… hurts" Sam coughed.

Dean made sure that John's eyes were glued to the street, before turning back to his brother, shifting so that he leaned against the door, Sam in the middle of his chest, the top of Sam's head resting beside Dean's cheek on his shoulder. Dean gently began to massage his brother's temples, his own forehead laying in Sam's hair.

"Hey Dean" Sam whispered quietly, when his coughing had stopped, looking up at his brother.

"Yeah?" Dean smiled, glancing in his brother's eyes.

"Thanks" Sam moved a little to wrap an arm around his brother waist. "You know, for being there for me."

"Sure thing, bro." Dean said, brushing his lips against Sam's forehead and for once he didn't mind to let his guard down, he didn't even mind that his father was grinning goofily in the front seat.

**The End??**

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_**Sooo… how did you like it?!**_

_**Sam's still ill, but happy :D**_

_**Please Review… ;))**_


	3. Like a Bad Dream

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_**Hey Yeah …. You guys are adorable! I PROMISE I don't want to take Sammy into the hospital… I guess John wouldn't do it because of a cold.**_

_**Major thanks to…**_

_**V, **_**What a short name… ;) Okay... perhaps your wish will be come true ;)**

_**The Grey Phantom**__**, **_**I'm thanking you for your encouraging words. Like I said, I won't put Sammy in a hospital.**

_**becci *, **_**Thanks so much for the review. Hahah… Dean will worry…**

_**So… enjoy, read and review. Please**_

_**Sam's Perspective**_

I couldn't sleep, though I was exhausted. My attempts to stop the shiver weren't really successfully; I hugged my both arms around my chest, right over Dean's arms to keep them form trembling, but the chattering of me teeth betrayed me.

Dean was worried. I knew it when he begun to stroke my hair in front of dad. Or better behind dad's back, but dad noticed it.

"Don't fight it." Dean whispered, when I tried to swallow a cough down.

I felt my eyes sting; coughing hurt so much; Dean rubbed my back, trying to calm me down. With him rubbing my back, I felt how wet my shirt was. Sheepishly I tried to push away from Dean, not wanting to mess his shirt, but I was too weak to bring myself in a sitting position and Dean had his arms crossed in front of my chest again.

Dad was right. _I never thought I would admit this_, but he really was right. I should have told them two days ago when I felt that my throat began to hurt. I couldn't help but feel guilty, that I have been a mayor jerk the last two days. Dean's caring made me feel worse; he wasn't even bothered by my sweat-soaked shirt, which was connecting with his shirt.

I moved my tongue around in my mound and on my lips. I was pretty dehydrated.

"Thirsty?" Dean asked, brushing some hair out of my forehead, while opened the bottle with his other hand.

I didn't even try to take the bottle from his hands, when he moved it to my lips, helping me drink.

"Thanks" I swallowed; my voice thick and rough.

"Your fever is increasing, Sammy." Dean noticed, feeling my forehead.

"Are you boys okay?" Dad asked when Dean took his jacket form the passenger side and put it around my legs.

"More or less, Sam is getting worse." I winced at Dean's tone, he was either mad or frightened; maybe both.

"Take his temperature." Dad ordered, nodding at the first aid kit, which stood on my other side.

"Open your cake hole." Dean cupped my cheek in his hand, smiling warmly; but I knew him good enough that this smile wasn't real, it didn't reach his eyes. I wanted to apologize so badly, for making him worry, but I couldn't force myself to talk, even opening my mouth hurt.

"How much?" Dad asked, as soon as a loud sound was to be heard.

I watched Dean out of the corner of my eyes, after he had read the number; he closed his eyes briefly, like he always did when he tried to get his composure, than he again faked a smile, caressing my cheek. "I think you should sleep kiddo."

"_How much?_" Dad asked again, turning a little in his seat, facing Dean.

Dean glared back. "102.3°F" He hissed, stroking my damp hair out of my eyes, gently moving his thumbs over my eyes, so I had to close them and I was unable to open them again.

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When I woke up again I felt a lot better. I felt something hard against my back… the door.

I looked around in the car; neither dad nor Dean was here anymore. It stunned me that Dean would leave me, when I was ill, alone in the cold car, in the middle of the night. Something must have happened.

My heart rate rose, when I stepped into the dark parking lot. Damned, here was nobody, only a small motel.

I shivered, tears in my eyes. "Dean" I whispered.

I headed to the door of the house, feeling lighter when I was a women standing behind the reception. "Hello, I'm searching for my father and my brother." My voice was barley over a whisper, earning me a sympatric smile from the women.

"I actually think I can help you." The women bit his lip and looked at the screen of her computer. "Yes a man with his son just checked in. They are in room six."

I didn't thank her, immediately running to the room. I knocked hysterically, waiting for Dean opening the door.

"Dad… I'm…" I cheered, when dad opened the door. But the look of his furious face shut me. "What?" I asked, but dad just pushed me aside and left.

Confused, I stepped into the room, finding Dean, laying on a bed, shivering and sweating.

"Dean" I murmured, sitting down on the side of his bed. "What's up?"

"Go away…" He pushed me away roughly, causing me to fall to the ground. "It's just your fault that I'm sick."

I felt again tears in my eyes. I didn't want to infect him. "Sorry" I apologized, standing up, supporting me on Dean's bed.

"You are always sorry. Always. You know…" he coughed. "every time I help you, stand up for you or have you around, I'm the one who end up hurt. You just don't worth it. I don't want you to have you around anymore."

With Dean's confession I just couldn't take it anymore. I left the room, running away, his words on my mind.

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_**Dean's Perspective (In the meantime in the real world ;))**_

"I'm sorry, Dean" Sam murmured again and again in his sleep. I didn't know what to do.

"Sammy… come on wake up." I cradled him even closer to my chest, hugging him tight, when I saw tears streaming down his face. "Dad" I piped up. "Stop the car, Sammy isn't waking up."

Fortunately dad obeyed immediately, I stroked Sam's sweat from his forehead, again brushing my lips against it. "It's just a dream, baby brother."

"Hey" Dad opened the door, sitting down on the other side from Sam, gripping the water-bottle and watered a cloth from the first aid kit, gently moving it over Sam's cheeks.

"Deaaan…" Sam moaned his face filled with anguish. I couldn't see him like this.

"Please Sammy; I'm begging you… stop it." I closed my eyes, leaning my forehead against his hair, running my hand up and down his upper arm.

I tried to hide my own tears, but dad seemed to realize my own fear. "Hey Dean" He cupped my cheek in his hand, looking at me with concern in his eyes. "With fever come bad dreams. It's just normal, don't worry so much. He is going to get better, I promise you kid."

I nodded, unable to speak. He had just called me _kid;_ he hadn't called me like this for a long time.

"Sam, wake up." Dad used his authority voice, I glared at him: this was for sure not helpful.

"_Don't be mad, Dean…_" Sam pleaded, further tears escaping his eyes. I looked at dad desperately.

"Hey… Sammy… I. Am. Not. Mad." I emphasized every word, when I whispered into his ear, his damp hair against my forehead, I felt so utterly helpless, and I wished I was the one who was sick.

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**Yeah… I can't possible end here… can I?**

**Sooo at everybody… tell me what I can do better…**

**Is Dean worried enough? **


	4. Hate me?

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**You. Guys. Are. Awesome.**

**Oh… damned. I'm really major jealous… Some of you can actually watch the FORTH season of Supernatural… I haven't even got the chance to see the third. :(**

**Okay… doesn't matter… Well…**

_**becci*, **_Yeah… thanks for the review. John seems to have to personalities :)

_**mollieclarke**__**, **_Thanks so much. I hope you won't be disappointed in the next chapter(s).

_**Sandy Murray**__**, **_Thanks so much for three great reviews.

_**Rain-Neechan, **_;) Thanks for the review. Tell me what you think about my worried Dean ;D

**Sooo… I hope my guys are in character.**

**This is a fully angst-worry chapter… Sam…well…he doesn't feel so well ;D And the poor boy is still dreaming badly.**

_**John's Perspective**_

I trembled slightly, when I pulled into the parking lot of a messed up, dark motel. I could hear Dean's quiet murmuring and Sammy's sniffing; my little boy hadn't woken up yet and I really didn't know what to do.

"You're okay, Dean?" I asked, after I had pulled open the back seat door; though I opened the door slowly, because my elder son was leaning against it, to prevent Dean from falling out.

"Well…" He let out a joyless chuckle, his eyes red-rimmed. "This depends on Sammy's condition." I nodded, reaching out to pet Dean's hair briefly. He looked even worse than Sam, who was looking like a dead doll, only squirming because of his nightmare. _Dean_ looked like the _living dead_, his little brother tight in his arms.

Dean scooped Sam into his arms, after he had stepped out of the car, hugging the crying boy tight, the blanket still around Sam's torso. "Uff, Sammy, you _have_ to stop growing, I won't be able to drag you around when you are as tall as I am." Dean teased and for this moment Sam seemed to be calmed by Dean's normal voice; but not only Sam was engulfed by Dean's casual, but caring voice, so was I. He reminded me of Mary somehow, looking down at the boy in his arms, while he was dragging him to the motel. I just dragged the first aid kit.

_Oh Mary, I guess I need you right now._ I thought, while I was opening the door to the entrance of the hotel, letting Dean step in. "Lay Sam down on one of the couches over there."

"You want a room?" An old man asked.

"Yes please" I couldn't tear my eyes from Dean and Sammy, who both were sitting on one of the seats.

"I'm sorry; we have only a two-bed room left." The man stated.

"It's okay, I will sleep on the couch, I just need a room as soon as possible. On of my boy are ill." I explained, taking my wallet out of my jacket.

"There's no way I would offer you three guys a room for two persons. Either you pay the full price for a three person room or you can search for another place." The man was pretty impolite.

"I will pay the full price." I hissed through gritted teeth, laying some money in front of him. Immediately the man was all nice again, handing me a key for a room. Dean, who had observed us, was standing again, one arm under Sam's back and the other under Sam's tights. Sam instinctively and fully calmed threw his own arm around Dean's shoulder and fisted the back of Dean's shirt.

In our room, Sam instantly began to cry and tremble again, when Dean broke the touch by depositing him on the bed, which was on the other end of the room. "_Dean_" Sam's voice was begging.

"Dad…" I knew Dean didn't it on purpose, but he used the same voice, Sam had.

"Get the thermometer." I ordered, pulling Sam into a sitting position, leaning against the wall.

When Dean came back to the bed, he sat down beside Sam, slinging an arm around his little brother, watching me taking the ill boy's temperature.

"103.3°F" I gasped, this had to become better.

"Damned" Dean yelled desperately. "Dad we have to do something… this can be life-threatening he might die from…"

"Shut up" I shouted, cursing myself for doing it, when I saw the hurt look on Dean's face.

"_Big brother…I don't want you to hate me._" Sam sobbed, interrupting Dean and me.

Without another comment on this all, Dean gripped his leather jacket and ran out of the room.

I was sure I would never forget this feeling I felt when I saw my elder son's tearing up eyes when Dean heard this pathetic beg of Sam. I knew that Dean would come back as soon as he had suppressed his emotion or maybe let them all out.

"Oh kiddo, do you really fear that Dean might hate you?" I whispered, after Sam have slammed the door shut. One of my hands rested on Sam's head. "You are hurting him with thinking that." It was probably the worst moment to complain something like this, but my mind dealt with both of my sons equally.

"Please wake up boy. I have really no idea what to do." I begged after a moment. How could Dean possibly leave me with Sam in such a situation?

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_**Dean's Perspective**_

'_I don't want you to hate me.'_ I took a deep shuttering breath, biting back the tears. I was standing outside the room for about four minutes, watching my dad fussing helpless over my little brother.

Last time Sammy was ill and he had to take the drugs it was half that bad.

I wondered what I did wrong. I should have indicated the signs; it was so obvious that he was ill. I should have forced him to take medicine. I should have forced dad to check into a motel quicker.

_I actually can lose him because of a stupid fever._

_I let my brother down… he might… no he won't. I wouldn't be able to deal with him gone. I raised this boy, he is even more important to me than my dad__ is; and hell… I love my dad. I swear to you Sammy, I will leave this earth -this life- before you, baby brother. _

"Damned" I hissed, when I kicked the door, furiously, not remembering that I wasn't wearing a shoe.

Two seconds later I realized that my outburst has been heard inside of the room, when my father stood in front of me, smiling a little. "Don't you want to come in?" He asked. I saw his gaze last a bit longer on my tear-strained cheeks.

"Hey… hey… boy" Dad gripped my arm, spinning me around, when I tried to pass him. "Come on Dean… I really hate it to see Sammy like this, but you are _making_ yourself sick." He had a firm hand on my shoulder, squeezing tightly. I was eighteen for god's sake and needed my dad to calm me down, because Sam had a cold.

But it wasn't just Sam for me. It was my dear, pigheaded, brother. It was _Sammy _and he was suffering.

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**Uhm… I guess that wasn't a full chapter… But I really wanted to update today… But I'm TIRED and I will continue writing soon… I promise.**

_**Read and Review PLEASE.**_


	5. Scared

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**Next Chapter.**

**Well… because I have fever and a cold myself, I know how Sammy feels.**

_**HardyGurl94**__**,**_ Hey, I'm very glad you liked it and hope you keep reading :) Well… I bought the 1. and the 2. season, too, but I have to wait for the 3.

_**eggylaine**_Thanks for reviewing, I'm glad you liked it.

_**Sandy Murray**__**, **_Yeah… well sometimes John really needs a slap :D

_**019**_, Oh my god. Well… I'm learning Spanish right now and some things I did understand… but some things I didn't… sorry. Thanks for reviewing.

_**Still Awesome2009**__**,**___Thanks so much, I'm glad you liked the chap.

_*****__**becci**__**, **_Yeah, you are awesome… Thanks so much for your review.

_**Dean's Perspective**_

"Hey Sammy" I whispered, sitting down on the edge of the bed, beside the pillow, moving my hand gently over Sam's hair. The boy was still trembling. "Uhm… dad" I began, when my father sat down beside me, placing a hand on Sam's chest. I sounded unbelievable hoarse, I just couldn't forget the fear and pain in Sam's voice, when he asked me not to hate him.

"What is it?" He asked and I felt his gaze on me, not on Sam.

"Could you please fetch a wet cloth?" I couldn't believe that he obeyed in the second I have asked for it. He immediately stood up and headed for the bathroom.

"Let's get you out of this shirt." I told Sam, switching seats, so I was sitting beside his tights, pulling Sam in a sitting position that he could lean against my shoulder, his head against mine. He moved his arms unconsciously around my neck and for a moment I just stayed like this, my hands on his back, than I gently removed his shirt over his head.

"Here" Dad handed me the damp cloth. I smiled at him thankfully, when he sat down on a chair beside the bed.

"Should we lay him down on his belly?" He asked, when I insisted to start with cooling Sam down…_hopefully_.

"No… I don't mind… he isn't heavy." I stated quietly and placed the cloth on his neck, my other hand was pressed against his cheek, when he jumped and yelped at the cold touch, remaining asleep, though. "It's cooling you down, baby brother." I kind of promised him, moving the cloth up and down his spin.

Suddenly he lifted his head, just that he could burry it deeper into the hollow of my neck.

"Hey sleeping beauty, feeling any better?" I whispered into Sam's ear, trying to ignore the sobs, which were shaking him. When I didn't receive an answer, I just kept going working on his bare torso, what seemed to give him some reassurance.

"Samuel" Dad said with a strict voice, making Sammy tense in my arms and causing me to shoot him a glare. But he didn't shut up, not even calmed his voice when he talked again. "I want you to tell us, whether you are feeling better or not."

"Sammy, kiddo, how are you feeling?" I asked, worrying, keeping a steady rhythm on Sam's back.

"The wa-wa-water's… too co-co-cold." Sam stuttered. I was pretty proud that I used the wet cloth; eventually I have been able to wake him up.

"Are you still cold?" Dad asked casually, but Sam shook his head against my chest.

"Ju-just the water... _too_ cold"

I frowned, when Sam scooted away from me, leaning against the headboard, tucking the blanket around himself, avoiding looking at me, trembling violently. Dad and I shared confused glances.

Sammy was so pale and limp, staring at his hands, barley able to hold his head up.

"I'll go and make some tea." Dad informed us, leaving our side.

"Tell me…" I commanded, sliding close enough to him to put the cloth on his neck.

"I don't know…" Sam laid his head against my under arm, he was really utterly powerless. "I just had a dream…"

"I heard it." I bit my lower lip. "Do you wanna talk about it?"

"No… well…" He moved away from me hugging his knees to his chest in defence, he seemed like a ball under the thick blanket. "I… I… I just have to recover." I knew there was more behind it, when I saw quiet tears run down his cheeks.

I let out an annoyed breath and followed him again, pulling a part of the blanket around myself and mimicking his position, our shoulders touching. "Well… Why do you want to recover from this _dream_, without talking about it?"

Some anger raised in my guts, when I felt Sam jerk back from my shoulder, looking in the other direction.

_Big brother…I don't want you to hate me._ I looked at the back of his head. "Sammy… You talked in your sleep." He didn't look at me; he just kept staring at the wall, in case his eyes were open. "I was just angry when I threatened that I wouldn't hold your back against dad, this morning. I mean you were really a pain in the ass the last days… but I know why. And I…" _could never possible hate you. _I wanted to say, but dad interrupted us, stepping back to our side.

"Here" Dad handed me the thermometer, nodding to Sam.

"Come, buddy, look at me." I ordered through gritted teeth, I couldn't hide the anger about the fact that Sam shut me out. Knowing that he wouldn't turn his face to me himself, I took his head in both of my hands, feeling the wetness beneath my palms. His face was hot and he couldn't hold himself upright.

He was looking up in my eyes, his brown eyes shining with tears, sometimes I got the feeling that this boy could read my thoughts.

"Open your mouth" I moved my thumb to whip away a tear, telling him that I wasn't really mad this way.

"Hey, smart boy, your fever is already a little better, I guess my cloth helped." I blinked at him. "102.9°F." I informed dad. Dad nodded at Sam.

_Poor boy_, I thought, dad was still mad at him for not telling earlier. Sam sat up a little straighter. I watched him suspicious, he had lost every colour of his skin, looking like he was about to vomit again.

"Sam?" Dad asked in the same time I let out a hysteric "Sammy?"

"Sorry" Sam apologized to both of us, swaying before he landed like dead in my arms.

"No…no…no...no" I whispered, running my hands over one of his cheeks, holding my breath at the same time. "DAD."

"Damned." Dad cursed, patting Sam's cheek. Sam was breathing heavily, his face twisted with pain. "Help me Dean, we have to get him in the bathtub. I'll let in some water."

I nodded, sitting Sam down on my lap. "Why can't you just tell me that you're feeling worse? I can't make this, Sammy, _please_, get better…_ please_." I felt a knot in my throat and my eyes sting.

The pictures of him falling down in my arms, his deadweight against my chest and the pale face, screwed in pain were spinning around in my head.

Yeah… the great Dean Winchester was utterly frightened.

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**I guess John is kind of a worried-jerk :D**

**Ugh… hm… this chapter… I don't know… I really don't know what I think about it**

**Hey guys… why don't you tell what to think about it?**


	6. Two Alone

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**OMG I've never got SO many reviews for ONE chapter… that's amazing… Thanks.**

_**mollieclarke**_**, Thanks so much. I'm really glad you liked my last chapter.**

_**Still Awesome2009**_**, Thanks for encouraging me :)**

_***becci,**_** :D Thanks…. Hope you keep reading and reviewing like you did every chapter.**

_**Sandy Murray**__**,**_** I always think that when I watching Supernatural, that Dean would be an awesome father… okay of course he is an amazing brother :D… I haven't a really good English myself… so I don't see any mistakes in your sentences :D Thanks for reviewing.**

_**…**_** Yeah… I've actually understood what you were writing… (I've got a Spanish exam on Monday and happy when I understand anything…) You're idea is great, I will put it in my story but a little bit different… I hope you don't mind. Thanks.**

_**cavetrollgrl**__**,**_** I'm glad you liked it. Especially Sammy needs John right now.**

_**futuregypsy**__**,**_** :) Thanks for reviewing, I hope you keep reading. I'm glad you like it so far.**

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_**Normal Perspective**_

"Come and bring him here." John ordered out of the bathroom. After hearing the annoyed voice of his father, Dean hugged Sam closer and dragged Sam out of the bed to the bathroom.

When Dean finally sat Sammy down in the water, after getting ride of Sam's jeans so that he was only wearing his bowers, his little brother was squirming in pain, but his breathing was regularly again. "I know it's cold" Dean assured him, running his hands through Sam's hair. John was standing on the other end of the bathroom, biting his lip. He _was_ mad at Sam. Not only because he didn't tell, but also because he worried John and Dean.

"Dean… I need fresh air." John stated when Sam's teeth began to chatter and he seemed to wake up again.

"What?" The eighteen year old boy glared at his father. "No… you can't leave now!" He had a firm grip on the fourteen year old boy, to prevent him from droving, sitting on the edge of the bathtub.

"Dean honestly, if I'm going to stay, I will probably kill him for being so stupid. The boy is really clever at school, but in any other cases he isn't very bright. I wanted to hunt tomorrow and now I'm not able to do it." John yelled at his older son, a firm gaze on him. Neither the father nor the older brother noticed the look of the face of the youngest Winchester's just had awaken, because of the coldness.

"Fine dad; leave like you always have been leaving whenever Sam has needed you. I can't believe that a stupid hunt is more important as your own son." Dean spat out with contempt in his voice. He cradled the head of his brother against his hip, moving his thumb against the boy's cheek, whipping tears away; feeling that Sam was fully awake.

"Stupid ass" Dean whispered when their father stormed off; than he signed, waiting a second to calm down, before kneeling down in front of the tub, being on an eyelevel with Sam, who was staring at the door. "No, no, no… Sammy… buddy look at me." Dean took Sam's chin in his hand, forcing Sam to look him straight in the eyes.

Sad, brown eyes eventually met concerned, green eyes. "I'm so sorry, Dean, really Dean, don't be angry." Sam begged. "I'm sorry, you shouldn't fight with dad because of me. Please, don't be mad."

"Of course I'm not." Dean answered immediately, when he remembered Sam's dream. "Was your nightmare about this, me arguing with dad, because of you? I have fought with dad a million times before because of you. It's nothing I can't handle."

Sam shook his head, looking at Dean's wet pullover arms. "Sorry" He apologized again.

"Stop saying sorry." Dean smiled sadly, cursing their father. "Do you want to go out of the water?" He asked and earned a tired nod.

Dean gripped a huge towel, standing up, unfolding it. With a hand on Sam's elbow, he helped his brother stand up, so he could wrap him in the towel. "Hop" He whispered to his nearly-crying brother, who was standing in the knee-deep water, lifting him out of the tub, beginning to rub Sam's back. Sam just stayed still, his head against Dean's shoulder.

"Are you feeling better?" Dean asked.

"Tired, sad, my throat is sore." Sam mumbled, honestly; he just couldn't resist the gentle embrace of his brother; though he really didn't want his dream come true.

"Why didn't you tell me that you were dizzy. You scared the crap out of me." Dean asked. "I thought it was something serious."

"I wasn't dizzy… I just felt stressed and all I wanted was sleep." Sam answered truthfully. "Dean…"

"Hm?"

"My dream…"

"Yeah?" Dean noticed that Sam was barley standing, leaning nearly fully against his big brother, not able to hold his weight on his own legs.

"Just… I had infected you and I thought I don't earn you…You always have problems after you are there for me." Sam couldn't hold back a sob.

"Bullshit." Dean stated simply. "I don't get sick. It would be absolutely stupid; I wouldn't be able to prevent you and dad from killing each other." His voice was quiet, he wanted to tell Sam that everything was okay, but it wasn't; their dad just abounded them, god knew for how long, so he just dropped his head, leaning his chin on the top of Sam's head, lifting Sam's arms, so they were around Dean's neck, his own arms tightly around his brother's torso.

"Can you change your boxers by yourself or are you to weak?" Dean asked, after clearing his voice.

"I'm good" Sam leaned even closer on Dean, not wanting to break apart.

"No, sorry, kiddo, there's absolutely no way you won't change." Dean shoved Sam a little towards the bedroom, sitting him down on the nearest bed.

"Okay" Sam gave in. "I'll do it, but you have to change your pullover, too, it's wet from the water."

"Yeah…" Dean chuckled, tossing a fresh, dry boxer to Sammy.

After both boys had changed into pyjamas, Sam with a little help from Dean, Sam was utterly exhausted, laying in a bed, not even trying to fight the tears. Dean always knew how he was feeling so it was useless to hide anything.

Wordless, not wanting to bother Sam, Dean got in the bed beside him, tucking a blanket around them both. "Talk or sleep; it's your choice for once." Dean said kindly, while he was letting Sam take the thermometer in his mouth.

"Tell me something." Sam asked with a soft voice, burying his face in Dean's arm, both boys waiting for the thermometer.

"Hey, congratulations, 101.9°F, Sammy" Dean cheered. "Nice. It's really getting better."

Sam nodded, biting his lip; he kind of wished that he wouldn't be healthy again, not knowing whether he was able to deal with his dad's anger.

"He won't be too hard on you, he is just worried." Dean promised, brushing some hair out of the younger boy's forehead.

"Story" Sam changed the theme.

"What kind of story?" Dean asked, hugging Sam close, knowing that this was one rare moment.

"No hunt-story." Sam decided with a rough voice, coughing easier with Dean rubbing soothing circles in his back. "A story about days I can't remember."

"Good…well you have seen the one picture of us two…" Dean began, continuing stroking Sam's back.

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**Whoa… I've never written a chapter so easily like this one.**

**Hope you liked it….**

**Please review.**


	7. Closet Monster

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**I'm sooo sorry for the delay. Really… I had a lot of work to do for school…**

**Thanks for reading and reviewing. :)**

_**KindaWierd**__**, **_Thanks for the review… I'm sorry that you had to wait.

_***becci, **_:D Thanks so much for reviewing :) I'm glad you liked it.

**Hugs to you.**

_**Sam's Perspective**_

"Which picture?" I asked, though my throat was still burning like hell. "There are more pictures of us two."

"Smart ass." Dean whispered and I felt his nose on the top of my head and his chuckled breath on my forehead. "I mean the one you sit on my lap when you were about five month old." I cringed inwardly; this photo was shot a few weeks before mom died. I nodded against Dean's chest.

"You were ill." Dean explained. "I think it was pretty the first time you had a cough." I closed my eyes. Dean would have been four years old and still remembered.

I remained silent, waiting for him to continue with his story.

"You were crying all the time, what made your throat hurt even more. Dad didn't want me to come near you, because he was frightened that you would infect me. But you didn't stop crying and eventually I couldn't take this bawling anymore, so I gripped you, sat down and put you on my lap." I shifted a little that I could cough without spitting at Dean.

I felt Dean shift, too, starting to curl my bangs around his fingers, absently. "I think I will never forget the way I felt, when you stopped crying as soon as I was hugging you. Not even dad was mad when he saw, that I didn't obey and mom was delighted." He chuckled. "She told me that I had a healing hand and that that was something special."

I buried my face deeper in his shirt, inhaling his scent. "It is." I bit my lip. "Dean…"

"What's up, lil bro?" Dean asked and I felt him brush his hand over my forehead gently, when I paused.

"Even when you were four you were there for me. You could give me reassurance, dad wasn't able to give me… never has been able. Not even now he is here." My grief was obvious in my voice, but it was his offer to talk, so I would say the things I wanted him to know. "Do you remember when I was nine and dad handed me a cold for shooting the monster in my closet?"

"Ohh yeah" Dean nodded over my head.

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**FLASHBACK**

_**Normal Perspective**_

"Dean…" Nine-year old Sam stood in front of Dean's bed, poking him with his fingertips.

The other boy peered at the clock beside his bed and than concerned into his brother's face. "It's three in the morning. Are you okay, Sammy?" He asked, lifting his blanket, being used to Sam, coming over in the middle of the night, after a nightmare.

But this time something was different, when Dean saw his brother shook his head; than Sam nodded to the subject in his hand instead.

Surprised Dean let out a yelp, when he identified the thing as a gun. "I can't pull the trigger." The boy complained.

"Geeze Sammy… what the hell? Why do you want to pull the trigger?" He took the weapon carefully from his brother's trembling hand. "You are not even allowed to take this." Dean laid the gun on the nightstand, before taking his little brother's hand and pulled in onto his bed, seeing the troubled look on Sam's face.

"Dad allowed me to use it." Sam pouted, not really trying to wiggle free, sitting close enough to his brother to use the blanket, too.

"Well… than I don't allow you to use it… I guess that's enough." Dean smiled, positing his arm around Sam's shoulder. "Why do you need a gun?" He asked casually, massaging the tenseness out of Sam's shoulders.

"Because of the monster in the closet." Sam answered, snuggling a little to Dean. "Dad gave it to me."

"Well… why don't you come to me?" Dean asked, standing up, howling Sam to his seat with him. "Describe the monster."

"I haven't seen it yet." Sam confessed, feeling stupid.

"Can it be that it is an invisible monster?" Dean asked serious, knowing that there was no monster in the closet.

"I guess…" Sam decided.

"Good. Than take this." Dean handed the orange juice, which was standing on the table at Sam, after he mixed it with another juice. "Drink it and than you can wish the monster to be gone and it will be gone." Dean smiled.

"That's just orange and cherry juice." Sam looked in Dean's eyes, frowning.

"Yeah, when you drink them apart, but as soon as they are mixed, they have magical power, but you have to believe in it." Dean assured, making his way to the closet, Sam holding on of his hands, taking the gun in his other hand. "And if it doesn't work, I will right beside you to shoot this thing."

"Okay. It's worth a try." Sam nodded and took a sip of the drink. Dean smiled at him, when he took a second one.

"Good. No concentrate on this monster and just make him go away." Dean let go of Sam's hand and laid it on Sammy's shoulder.

Dean watched his little brother with a smile, when Sam closed his eyes, balled his fists and looked like he attempted to lift from the ground and start flying. As soon Sam had opened his eyes again, Dean was serious again. "Is it gone?" Dean asked.

"I actually think so." Sam shrugged with a grin.

"Nice." Dean ruffled Sam's hair. "Very well done? You want to take a look at the closet?"

"Yeah…" Sam said unsure, again gripping Dean's hand, when Dean opened the door.

It was empty.

"It's gone." Sam cheered, wrapping his arms around Dean's waist. "Thanks." Dean nodded, feeling bad about lying to him, but it wasn't completely lied; Sam got ride of his made up monster by believing it.

"So… Sammy, boy, you want to stay awake for the rest of the night?" Dean asked, running his hand through Sam's hair.

"No…" Sam pulled on Dean's hand, so Dean followed him to his bed. On the way Dean put the gun down on the table, not wanting to see his little brother holding a weapon like this till he was at least fourteen and than just to exercise. Sam's life was hard enough… he should just be a kid.

"Get in." Dean ordered, lifting the blanket for his brother.

Once Sam was laying in the bed, Dean got in beside him, offering Sam an arm to lay his head on, using the pillow himself. "I'm very proud of you, kiddo." Dean whispered.

"Why; because I have waste a monster, that was probably never there?" Sam questioned.

"No… because you were able to stand up, against your fear." Dean told him, rubbing the kid's back.

"You were there." Sam answered matter of factly, cuddling up to his brother.

**END ****FLASHBACK**

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**So this chapter was actually a little useless for the plot, but I hope you enjoyed it though. **


	8. John becomes Daddy

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**Heyyy guys… I'm so utterly sorry for the delay… I hope I can post a little bit sooner next time…**

**Well… Thanks to everyone who read and enjoyed my story and special thanks to….**

_**supernaturalsammy67**__**, **_thanks so much :) I'm so glad you like it :)

_***becci, **_Like always…. You are awesome :) Yeah… I was confused myself, about the juice stuff… :D I have absolutely no idea where this came from :) *Hugs back*

_**SupernaturalAngels**_ Yeah… thanks, thanks, thanks, thanks, thanks, thanks and thanks. :D It was pretty awesome to read all of your reviews…. I'm so glad you like it.

**Sooo…. I hope you guys aren't disappointed in the next chapter.**

_**Normal Perspective**_

"I knew the juice had no magical power." Sam muffled into Dean's shirt.

"I wouldn't be so sure, buddy. The monster vanished." The eighteen year old man smiled.

"Oh shut uuup." Sam yawned. "There has never be a monster." He buried his face deeper in Dean's side, but his older brother immediately pulled away, when he saw the sights of Sam dozing off.

"Uh-u sport, at first I have to take your temperature again, than you chic can snuggle." Dean smiled down at his blushing brother, than he continued: "You know the drill; open your cake-hole." Dean fetched the thermometer from the nightstand, still a hand on Sam's arm. Sam looked in Dean's smiling eyes, when his brother winked with the utensil in his hand.

Dean gently laid the thermometer under Sam's tongue.

"Somebody should invent thermometer with taste." Dean chuckled, while he waited, Sam's head on his arm. Sam looked up at him, frowning, Dean just smiled.

"101.3°F… still not normal temperature, but way better." Dean smiled. "You want to sleep?"

"Yeah…" Sam smiled, safely wrapped in Dean's arms.

"Good night, then, lil' bro. Get better, I want you healthy by tomorrow morning. That's an order." Dean teased, petting Sam's hair.

"I'm not really the one, who follows orders." Sam grinned, feeling himself dozing of.

"Then fulfil my wish." Dean whispered.

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_**Dean's Perspective**_

"I'm back boys." Dad asked, as soon as he stepped inside.

"Yeah; but definite not because of you." I started, trying not to disturb Sam's sleep, when I stood up.

"Dean, don't give me this attitude." Dad barked.

"Shut up, or you will wake him up." I hissed; while dad came close.

"Don't tell me to shut up." He yelled, gripping the front of my shirt. I held his gaze, I respected him with all my might, but I've never been afraid of him.

"You're drunk… go to bed." I ordered tearing his hand off my shirt, roughly.

"No… we're driving to Bobby right now, he is not far away; I'm dropping you two off and head to New York myself." Dean shoved me that I landed on the bed, my back connecting with Sam's knee.

"You promised dad." I raised my voice. "You promised that we would go after this werewolf together. That's just not fair."

"I hoped you would say that." Dad smiled an evil smile.

"What?" I asked, my breath raising furiously.

"We two will just get raid of Sam at Bobby's and than we go hunting. The boy is just ballast, right now. Perhaps he can stay there for about two years till he is sixteen, so he can learn from Bobby first." Dad rambled. I stared at him in shock.

"I hope it's the alcohol that's talking. I would never leave him alone as long he needs me." I defended my little brother, feeling him tense behind me. I soothed a hand over his back, trying to calm him down, wordless.

"Oh Dean, be smart, this kid will be your end. Everything what happened today, or rather yesterday; just proofed this. You should live and do your job."

"Yeah, right… I thought Sam _is _my job and defiantly he is my life." I whispered, before I stood up and left, feeling dad chasing me.

"Stop running." Dad shouted, when I reached the parking lot. He got a hold of my arm, spinning me around. For some seconds we just glared at each other, my eyes stinging, but I wouldn't allow the tears to flow, I was eighteen, an adult, I shouldn't cry because I'm disappointed.

"John," it was the very first time, I called him by his first name. I felt better when I saw him flinch. "I can't believe that one hunt, a stupid hunt is more important than Sammy. It's just wrong."

"Innocence people may die." Dad shouted.

"Yeah… well… let them die. What does it matter?" This sentence made both of us wince. I was pretty surprised that dad didn't responded, but that left me the chance to ramble further. "It's Sammy, we talking about and he is more important than anyone else."

"Damned it, Dean, I don't want to get ride of him in any bar… leaving through the bathroom window. I just want to drop him off by Bobby. He would be saver and we would be able to hunt without considerate Sam." Dad tried to explain helplessly. "When he is finally ready to hunt, he would join us again. This whole thing terrifies me, just imagine the consequences when Sam would hunt with a cold. You would more worry about his sneezing than about the monsters, which want to kill you."

"Yeah… of course I would." I ran a hand over my face. I didn't talk to my father, but to obsessed hunter and now he was drunk also. A talk was useless. "And you should, too."

Our eyes were locked for a brief moment, I've could read his answer in his eyes. "Well… I'll stay with him. Go and hunt your werewolf by yourself." I stated disappointed and together we headed back to the motel.

Dad didn't go to the room. Abounding me, when we were in the near of the bar.

"Hey Sammy." I whispered, stepping into the room.

_What I found was making me gasp for breath._

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_**John's Perspective**_

"Whisky please." I asked the waiter, sitting at one of the tables, just having emptied my last glass.

My baby nearly died. Seeing my little boy collapsing in Dean's arm was the worst thing I've ever seen. I should have taken better care of him.

Dean did everything with some kind of ease, always being brave for his little brother, though he wanted to break down.

Why couldn't Dean just understand that I wanted Sam to be save, by sending him to Bobby? He would be with me and Sam wit Bobby.

I was scared that neither of them would hold contact with me, when both of them wouldn't be with me anymore. They would simply forget me, only needing each other. And that was something I couldn't deal with.

"Daddy." _Sammy? _I thought, hearing the broken voice. But when I spun around I looked at the tear stained face of my older boy.

From John to Daddy…

_Something bad had happened._

_**Sammy.**_

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**Review???**


	9. Sam's dad

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**Hey guys.**

**Fast update ;) I just couldn't leave you hanging.**

_***becci,**_ :D Thanks soo much for your review. You are always making me smile.

_**bia1007**__**,**_ Thanks so much. I love to hear something like that.

_**KindaWierd**__**…**_ Yeah I hurried. Thanks so much. I'm glad you liked it

_**019**_… Yeah :D You guessed right,… but it was kind of your idea… Thanks so much for that… un abrazo.

**And a note at my beloved sis, **_**xkittybluex**__**, **_**who is just great. **

**Yeah.. and hell… we just love Bobby :D… Because family don't end with blood.**

_**John's Perspective**_

"What' going on, Dean?" I asked concerned, forgetting about the alcohol behind my back. Dean looked so helpless, tears running down his face and shaking violently. "Whoa… easy kid, take it easy." I took a step forward and supported him with both of my hands, preventing him from doubling over.

"Dean" I pulled him forward, letting him drop his head against my shoulder. "Boy… wha-" I stopped when he put a piece of paper in my hand. It was a note in Sam's handwriting.

With one hand on the back of Dean's head, I started to read.

_I'm so sorry Dean for screwing up your life so badly. I've never wanted you to just live for me. You earn a life. Thanks for everything you have done for me. I love you so much. I regret that I didn't show or tell you this more the last two years._

_I also love you dad, I'm sorry for being a failure._

"Fuck" I cursed, balling a fist around the note, laying the fist on his son's back, who was falling apart in his arms. "Come on, Dean… we have to search for him, before he does anything stupid." I shifted my arm around Dean's waist, so I could guide him outside to the Impala, not letting go, till he hit the passenger side's seat. Immediately he was limp on the seat.

I hesitated before I started the engine. I could feel the alcohol in my system. But I did it though, after belting Dean up. My eighteen year old boy looked so young again. "Dean, don't be scared, he won't do anything stupid… he would never hurt himself on purpose." I assured him, my voice cracking, I didn't want to think other way. "We'll search for him and find him."

We both knew that it was pointless to search for him. I trained him good. And when he didn't want to be found he would never be found. But in case we would find him, I would make the boy's life to a living hell. At first he gave us attitudes than concealed things and right now he seemed to kill his brother with vanishing.

"He is so different when he he's ill… so sensitive." Dean whispered with a thin voice. "Oh god… I can't believe it that I've just mocked him for searching some reassurance."

"I shouldn't have left him after all this crap." Dean sniffed, desperately trying to hold the tears at bay, I saw the signs; the tightened jaw, the balled fists and the fact that he tried to avoid my eyes.

"When you search somebody to blame than blame me, kiddo. You did great." I squeezed his shoulder, causing a sob from him. "Dean… he _will_ be all right. You'll get your brother back."

How could this ever be all right again? My own son thought I would consider him as a failure.

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_**Sam's Perspective**_

_Where should I go? Nobody did actually want me, not even my own dad. Well… Dean did. __But it would be just awful selfish to mess with his life for my own advantage. _Thoughts ran through my head.

I was sitting on a bench, arms crossed in front of my chest, sobbing. I was shivering and that not only from the cold. My head hurt like hell and my chest burned, every chough hurt even worse without Dean.

I _never _wanted to end it like this. I had never thought about leaving Dean.

Dawn was already breaking and I had now idea how long I have been sitting here; a couple of hours, maybe.

"Are you alone, kid?" A man asked. _No… please not._ I kicked myself mentally, when I saw the officer in front of me.

"I'm just out for a walk." I sniffled, whipping my eyes and my nose. _Please just go… Ugh, dad's going to kill me, when a policeman would bring me home._

"All night long? We just received a call that a boy was sitting on a bench all night. Do your parents know that you're gone? Would you let me talk to them?" I stared at him in shock.

"There is no need, they know that I'm outside." He couldn't plan to bring me home.

"I just want to make sure. How's your name, kid?" The man asked gently, watching my tearstained face carefully.

"Sam." I gulped. "Samuel Singer."_ Oh god, Bobby will kick my ass for that._

"My name is Max Turner. Do you think I can talk to you father, you can use my phone." Without waiting for an answer, he handed a cell to me.

I dialled, biting my lip.

"What?" I heard Bobby's sleepy voice. _He is so going to kick my ass._

"Hey dad… it's me." I whispered. In his background I could hear the engine of a car. He was driving.

"Where are you? Your dad just called. He is worried sick. We all searching for you. What are you thinking?" I've never heard him shout before and that was kind of frightening.

"Yeah… hey _dad_." I hoped he would understand what I needed. "There is a policeman, who wants to talk to you." With that I gave the phone to the man.

I wasn't listening to that, what Mr. Turner said, pressing my hands against my eyes, to ease the pain and hide the tears. _Dad was worried sick._ And a worried dad was mad; and this time he sure as hell was furious. _Damned_. What have I thought by running away?

_This time I wouldn't step between you two, I wouldn't be on your side._ I heard Dean's words again. When dad was worried, Dean had to be scared and this was a further reason for him to be mad at me.

"Boy? You there?" I heard a gentle voice. "Your father wants to talk to you, again." The man nudged me with the mobile phone.

"Dad?" I asked so sweet as possible.

"You are in so damned much trouble, you idjit. I'm gonna pick ya up. " Bobby barked.

"Don't tell…" I bit my tongue briefly. "Don't tell John and Dean."

"The hell I won't. Can you even imagine how hard this is for your brother? Do you care about his feelings?" These words stung badly. "I promise you that they gonna be there, when we reach my apartment." His voice was dangerous. "Wait right where you are. The officer is going to wait with you."

_Can you even imagine how hard this is for your brother? Do__ you care about his feelings?_ Damned, I have done it for him.

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**Bobby :D**

**Reviews??? Hugs to you guys.**


	10. Talk to me

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_**bia1007**__**, **_Well… who would hate Bobby :) Thanks so much for the review.

_Reva155, _Hey… okay, dann antworte ich auch auf deutsch :)P Ich bin echt froh, dass du meine Stories magst. Ich finde es auch richtig traurig, dass sich Sam und Dean in der 4. Staffel nicht mehr verstehen… Sex and Violence war zwar eine gute Folge, aber die Beziehung der Jungs ist wirklich kaputt vorerst.

_**KindaWierd**__**, **_:D Thanks so much. Everybody likes Sammy in trouble :D I'm glad you liked it.

_**xkittybluex**__**… **_My beloved sis… I'm missing you already… Why do you have to be in Salzburg?! Das einzige was ich machen kann, ist dein Buch zu lesen. Thanks so much for the review. Love you… I'm looking forward to seeing you again. Hab dich lieb.

_**becci***_, well… it's one or two day(s) later… :D I hope it's fast enough though. Yeah I've got facebook and Icq… My Icq number is: 358027953

Ugh… (I think) I have added my Facebook-site as homepage… when you are locked in, in facebook you would probably get to my side… But I'm not entirely sure :D

Hugs and thanks so much for your other reviews. I was so happy to receive them.

I promise you that I will write this story you whished for… right after Hit the road :))

_**Bobby's Perspective**_

"No, John… I'm going to pick him up, you bring Dean to my mansion and make sure he is going to eat something… Sam and I'll going to be fine." I assured my best friend, who was desperately trying to find out where his son was staying right at the moment.

"All right…" He hissed. "Drive carefully."

After some minutes I saw a man standing in front of a shaking boy, in the dim light of the cold morning. "Here you are, buddy." I whispered, a sad smile tucking on my lips.

"Hey dad." Sam avoided looking into my eyes when I got out of the car.

"Hey boy." I greeted emotionless, laying a hand on his shoulder and squeezed it a little tighter than I usually had.

"Well… officer, you can go. I've got the boy now." I told the officer, who looked unsure, whether he should really leave.

"Shouldn't I wait for…" He began.

"No, me and Sam… my son…" I added unsure "…will just go home to eat something."

"Will you be okay boy?" The officer asked Sam. _Did he actually think that I would beat my boy up in the middle of the street, as soon as he is out of sight?_

"Yeah…" Sam stated with a tick voice. I knew that voice perfectly and with one pang of sorrow all my anger vanished. It was enough that his dad and his brother were mad. I should try to comfort the broken boy.

I removed my grip von his shoulder and moved my hand to his neck, gently moving my thumb up and down. I have seen Dean doing this a million times, every time Sam was sad or in pain or he had just awakened from a nightmare.

The police officer gave us one last look before he disappeared.

"Sorry. I'm really so sorry." Sam's heart-wrenching sobs made me kneel down in front of him. "I… I… I just couldn't call dad, he doesn't want me and me staying will be Dean's death."

"Oh boy… you're so stupid." I shook my head, roughly pulling him forward, so he could sob into my shoulder. "Well, your dad is just as stupid." I felt his arms circle my neck, holding on tight. "Your arms are cold. Let's get you in my car, you're still ill."

With Sam parked into the passenger side, I rounded the car to sit down behind the wheel, not starting it, just sitting there, a hand on Sam's head. "Boy…"

I waited for him to look at me. "Sam, listen carefully, ever since you are born your father and Dean adore you and that will never change. They love you absolutely, without questions. You have to get this into the dick skull of yours."

"Your father is just scared about you and so is Dean… but they have very different ways to show it." I smiled when I heard his quiet and teary chuckle. "So can we drive home?"

"Yeah… Thanks Bobby." Sam whispered.

"Good" I breathed, starting the car. "Take your temperature." I ordered, handing him the thermometer, John had told me to take with me.

"Do you think Dad and Dean will be already at your house?" He asked, trying to suppress any emotions.

"Yeah, I would bet." I smiled, when I heard his gulp. _Sorry boy, that's your problem._

"Temperature?" I asked, when he looked at the small display.

"Low enough for my dad to strangle me." He answered pitiful, making me smile.

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_**Sam's Perspective**_

I tried to think about two apologizes, one for dad and one for Dean. I hoped that Bobby would help me with dad. Oh damned, this guy will be mad. But unfortunately I had to deal with it. I wasn't ill enough to hope for a gentle manner.

No. This time I could count on huge trouble. I hoped he would shout at me for several hours till I would be crying, he horse and Dean both, trying to mediate. But for this time I expected Dean to support dad or just leave us alone; or what would be worse that both would just ignore me.

I didn't want to think about the worst case. Could it be that both of them would be mad enough to just leave me with Bobby, heading for the next hunt?

"Hey, kid, you're okay?" Bobby asked.

"More or less." I confessed. "Dad have been mad before."

"I'm going to talk to him." Bobby promised, smiling lightly. "And you are going to talk to Dean."

"I don't know…" My voice cracked mid-sentence, this time I blamed my cold for that.

"If he wants to talk to you? Have you lost your mind?" Bobby asked nearly furiously. "Your dad told me that he is a wrack, not knowing where you are."

_Ugh… that wasn't helping._

"We're here." Bobby stated calmly. "And the others are already here, too."

I took a deep breath when I saw the Impala.

I wasn't surprised to see Dean leaning against the car, head downcast, dad standing beside him, looking into the car's direction.

Outside of the car, I walked behind Bobby, like I wanted to hide, when we approached my family. Dad was glaring hard at me, while Dean was not looking at me. For the first time I wasn't sure whose reaction would be more unbearable

"_HAVE YOU ANY IDEA HOW SCARED WE WERE?_" I took a further step behind Bobby, couldn't remember that dad had ever shouted like this, before.

"Dad don't!" Dean gripped the back of dad's jacket, holding him back, when he took a step forward.

"John." Bobby shouted making us all flinch. "Into the house. _Now._" When dad didn't obey, Bobby gripped the front of his jacket, pulling him into the house, leaving me with Dean outside.

"Hey big brother." I said, a tear escaping my eye, searching vainly for his eyes. "Please, talk to me."

Finally he made his way over to me, still avoiding my gaze. When he was near enough, I gripped his shirt crushing against him, rambling apologizes.

"Well… Sam… I'm sorry, too." He said coldly, pushing me away, looking right into my eyes. There was no affection, not like usual, just disappointment.

"Dean, _please._" I begged, tears running down my cheeks, but Dean's lower lip was quivering, too.

"No, I can hardly look at you, Sam." He whispered; then he left me standing outside, alone, cold and crying.

I walked over to the car, feeling my knees buckling, leaning hard against it. This time I really screwed up.

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_**I guess there is just one chapter to go… **_

_**Well… Reviews??**_


	11. Love you

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_**Hey, hey… this is supposed to be the last chapter.**_

_**I want to thank you all again, for all the reviews, the encouraging words and all the help.**_

_**THIS CHAPTER IS FOR MY SIS AND FOR *becci.**_

_**bia1007**_, Thanks so much. :D Yeah well I guess they need a hug :P I hope the chapter is good as you imagined it…

Sci-fi _girl,_ Thanks so much… I didn't mean to shock you :)

_***becci**_, hey darling. :D no… I won't ever by tired of hearing something like that…. And like I have promised I will begin with your story right after posting this. Thanks for the review and adding me in facebook. Hugs.

_**KindaWierd**_… don't cry… :) Thanks so much vor reviewing.

_**Sam's Perspective**_

_What am I supposed to do?_ I thought, again and again.

I didn't know how long I was standing there, alone. The sun was already up, but behind dark clouds.

"Hey Sammy" I heard the deep voice from my dad.

"Dad, please, not now." I cried, unable to look at him.

"I'm not here to shout at you." Dad assured me, leaning beside me.

Now I looked at him in shock. "You won't leave, would you? Please dad, please, start shouting, do anything, but please don't leave." I sobbed, begging.

"Come on, kiddo, I won't leave, I'm just here to talk to you." My dad told me with an actually soothing voice.

I nodded, biting my lip to stop the tears from coming. I really wasn't in the mood to talk. I wasn't able to think about anything else, but Dean.

It was so awkward to stand here with dad. He was no person, who was there to spend comfort, _he wasn't Dean_.

"Don't care so much about the thing with Dean, he was scared and he is tired. I guess his head is aching, too, he had cried the whole night long." Dad smiled sadly, laying an arm around my shoulder.

"What did Bobby do, that you are like this, now?" I asked, leaning my head against his shoulder. "Not that I'm complaining." I really didn't want to complain about this. It was always nice when dad was… well just a dad.

"Bobby told me, why you ran and I'm sorry, kiddo. I was just so helpless, when you had a bad fever like this and you didn't even bother to tell us."

"Sorry…" I blushed, feeling dumb. "Also for leaving."

"About leaving." He began uncomfortably after a while, rubbing my arm. "Dean and I talked about it. You two will stay till you are completely healthy again and then I will pick you up again. _You both._"

"Thanks dad." I forced a smile.

"And about the note, you wrote. I don't think about you as a failure, you and your brother are the most important and most wonderful persons for me, you two are my kids. I just don't want you to get hurt, boy. And tonight I was scared that I might lose you both." Dad hugged me one-armed. "Dean wouldn't be able to lose you like this, not knowing where you are."

"Sorry." I stated again. I couldn't help but think about the times when dad wasn't coming home in time. Dean always was a wreck in those times.

"So, now go inside and give your brother a nice chick-flick-moment." I heard dad's smile.

"Okay…" I smiled at dad and hugged him for once really, before turning around to head into the house, followed by dad.

"Hey you two, how are you, guys?" Bobby asked, looking beaten.

"We're fine. How's Dean?" Dad asked. I winced.

"Well… it's like he is in shock. Don't do something like this again. Don't leave like that again." Bobby shook his finger in my direction in a warning manner.

"_Not planning to._" I ran a hand over my hair, before looking questioning at Bobby. "Is he upstairs in our room?"

"Yeah… where else would he be?" Bobby rolled his eyes and shoved me to the stairs.

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_**Normal Perspective**_

The young boy waited in front of the door for a brief moment, trying to brace himself. Desperately he fought with tears, though he knew that he would start crying in the second he would see his disappointed brother.

Inside the room was dark; all windows were shut, so no light would come inside. Sam didn't mind, he knew this room like the bag of his jacket, able to move without looking.

Slowly and carefully Sam walked over to Dean's bed, not wanting to wake his brother up, needing a hug and not a discussion. He insisted just to crawl into Dean's bed; the talking could be saved for some-when later.

"Oh no, no, no…" Sam started to panic when the bed was empty. His breathing was fast and flat.

Suddenly the lights were turned on. Sam spun around, only to see his brother laying in the other bed, his eyes cracked open, his hair messy, but his gaze fixed at Sam. "What's up?" Dean croaked. "You're feeling bad?"

Sam just stared at Dean, guilt in his guts when he noticed that Dean had to feel exactly like that when Sam had vanished out of the motel. "I'm sorry…" He sobbed hard.

"Oh damned it Sammy, I'm tired." Dean complained. "Come here and lay down." He ordered, lifting the blanket.

Sam obeyed immediately, laying down in Dean's open arms, still fighting not to cry.

"You scared me." The older boy confessed, with a calm voice, letting his younger brother cry apologizes into his chest. "I thought you would do anything stupid. I would have never forgiven myself, little bro."

After a while, they just stayed in this position, both knowing that the other was still wide awake, Sam started talking again.

"Dean" He whispered. "How made you dad pick us both up again?"

"That was pretty easy. I just told him that I would take you and the Impala so we would start hunt by ourselves and I could teach you everything." He chuckled. "I understand that he wasn't very thrilled. I guess he probably thinks that if I wouldn't be with him anymore, I would become a father in no time and would forget you anywhere at a bar."

Both of them knew that this was totally crap, Sam actually believed that Dean would be even more overprotecting if John wouldn't be there.

Sam nodded though, smiling when he breathed in the familiar scent of his brother, his fingers gripping the back of Dean's shirt, while Dean was rubbing circles into his back.

"Why are you laying in my bed?" The younger boy asked when Dean stroked his still little warmed up forehead with his thumb.

"Huh?" Dean asked dumbly, blushing in the darkness.

"Well… you are always insisting in sleeping in the other bed, because it's more fleecy." Sam shifted, so Dean's hand could reach his neck.

"I didn't say something like this." Dean defended himself.

"It was exactly what you were saying." Sam teased, smiling.

"Well…" Dean moved, so Sam was landing on the bed, acting like he wanted to get up. "I can go… you know."

"No" Sam insisted a little too fast, gripping Dean's arm. His big brother smiled affectionately, kissing Sam's head gently.

"I'm sorry." Sam whispered, snuggling up to Dean, again. "When I thought you wouldn't be here I felt like breaking apart."

Dean nodded into his hair, feeling finally good again. In the whole last nigh, it has been like his worst nightmare has come true; but the fresh, scaring memories still hunted him though. "Oh, Sam." Dean breathed, leaning his forehead against Sam's, gritting his teeth.

"You are still a little mad, aren't you?" Sam asked carefully.

"Still scared. You were gone and that frightened me." Dean confessed. "I'm sorry that I didn't talk to you after you arrived with Bobby, it was just too much."

"When you say sorry again, I promise that I'm going to suffocate you with the pillow." Dean word.

"Talking about the pillow, you are using the bigger part, give me a piece." Sam poked Dean's side.

Like he had suspected, Dean poked back, making Sam yelp. "You are going to end up anyway on my arm."

"Yeah." Sam yawned, pressing his face against Dean's chest.

"Sleep well, lil' bro." Dean smiled, hugging him close.

"You, too." Sam murmured, biting his lip. "Love you."

"Yeah, Love you, too." Dean smiled, lovingly, when he felt Sam's face warm up even more and this not because of the fever. _Don't do this again._ Dean thought, burying his face in Sam's long hair.

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_**John's Perspective**_

"Hey John… you have to look at this." John smiled brightly, pointing at the stairs, making me go with him.

Upstairs we went straight into the boy's room.

I couldn't help, but smile with delight, when I saw my boys cuddling in their sleep.

"You have luck with them, John." Bobby smiled, leaning on the door frame.

"Yeah… they can be pains in the ass, but I can't imagine more precious boys." I smiled.

_Sleep well boys, I love you._

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_**Disappointed? Glad? Tell me how you fell… :) **_

_**Yeah… this was my story…**_

_**See you soon… hopefully ;)**_

_**Lot's of love.**_

_**Review?**_


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